opinion pls!

So I wrote a poem after a mini-revelation on the road, only to have an artistic moment and try writing it as a haiku. Of course now I don't know which is better. Opinions please! Which do you think works better?


I remember when
You were my pet
Now you're a man
When did that happen?

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I remember when
You were mine,
Pet. Now you're a man. When did that happen?

Posted via m.livejournal.com.