assuming this was your kind of thing

[tinpra]

If you saw this blurb on the back of book, would you be interested in reading it: "A young vampire marked for death sells secrets - hers and everyone elses."

Comments

[heroicblogger.livejournal.com]

Hm. It's not very catchy and seems a little scattered. Is she selling the secrets to blackmail someone into 'unmarking' her or...?

[tinpra.livejournal.com]

What do you mean exactly by "scattered"?

[heroicblogger.livejournal.com]

Well, it alludes to alot of different plot ideas... the murder and the blackmail and the vampirism....

[tinpra.livejournal.com]

Well...yeah...that's the point, to boil down the wider plot into spiel I could give you while riding with you from one floor to another in an elevator.

Darn straight!

[orsinosmistress.livejournal.com]

You bet. I'd be all over it.

But I think I might tweak the last bit, from "Hers and everyone else's," to

"Hers. Her enemy's. Everyone's." [Hers. Her enemies'. Everyone's.]

or

"Hers. And those her enemies would kill to keep quiet."

You see? Something with a little punchier rhythm. 'and everyone else's' always strikes me as a bit awkward, and I think I prefer something with snap, instead of the rolling dactyls.

*hearts you* Can't wait for you to finish it and get it in print. Which I totally believe will happen. :)

Re: Darn straight!

[tinpra.livejournal.com]

Oh gee *blushes*

When I wrote it I knew it wasn't that great. That "and everyone else's" bothered me too but I couldn't think of anything better. And that's why God invented friends and editors - ppl whose brains aren't as mucked up as your own.

I really just needed something to tell ppl when they asked me what the whole crazy novel is about w/o actually explaining the novel to people, so Mom suggested an "elevator blurb."

I love you! *pounces!*