a reactionary poem (one of many)

[tinpra]

2/19/11 6:25 pm, still thinking of that thing you wrote and wondering if you misspelled my name

If you’d asked
I would have stayed

If you’d said something
I would have been there
I could have been yours
it was all that I wanted

I don’t touch just anyone you know
I reserve my skin for those I love
because it’s through them that I prove to myself
again and again
that I’m real
I’m worthy
still a weirdo, but beloved for my strangeness

I don’t connect with just anyone you know
I only bond where I want it reciprocated
I only anchor myself to those who can weigh me down
and leave me free to soar
tethered to the ground

What were you so afraid of?
Was I fickle?
Did I love too many people
and not love you best?
You never wanted it
so I took what I could get
So you took that back

Greedy
Greedy greedy greedy
stealing this girl’s little ewe lamb
because you won’t risk your own confidence

What am I saying?
Was it even all of that?

Let’s be honest:
I thought I loved you
I was desperate to touch you
But also true?
I touch everyone I love
I hug, I caress, I sidle up close
I need this
You don’t need to get in my bed
to feel the comfort of my hand
We could have been more
but we didn’t need to be less than this
and I’ve always hated you just a little
for punishing me for you hangups

Comments

[wrenel.livejournal.com]

Most poetry along these lines just irritates me, but I really like this piece. It's melancholy, yes, but very beautiful because you gave us so much more than "poor, unloved me."

[tinpra.livejournal.com]

thanks. i often feel like i'm just being "woe is me" when I post things. i actually started to take this down.

[wrenel.livejournal.com]

I glad you didn't.